The first year after Spencer was born was so disorienting. I’d finally figure out how to be the mother of a newborn, but now he was four months old and nothing worked. And then he was eight months and then a year and I felt like I was constantly learning a new way to parent. It was a time of […]
Charity
Awhile back someone posted on Facebook that they really disliked getting birthday greetings because they felt that some of their “friends” only did it because Facebook reminded them and thus it was fake. And all around me I see people who feel that they are alone because no one really understands their circumstances. I was reminded of a quote that […]
Things I Didn’t “Get” Before
One thing I didn’t really understand before Tom died is how praying for someone else matters. I did it, but mostly on faith because it didn’t really make sense. I believe we don’t pray to change God’s mind – we pray to become reconciled to God’s will. So I didn’t really understand how praying for others fit into that. But […]
Guided Scripture Study
When I didn’t know how to cope with my new reality, I went to the internet looking for some kind of scripture study guide on the topic of grief and loss. But aside from things like “10 scriptures on grief” there wasn’t much. I wanted something more comprehensive. Eventually I just started looking up topics in the topical guide of […]
The Other Side
Back when Tom had his surgery I wrote a little about his diabetes and how it hadn’t seemed like a big deal for most of our marriage. Tonight I started thinking about that. A few years ago Tom had a severe insulin reaction where his blood sugar levels were so low that he finally lost consciousness, despite all the sugar […]
An Amazing Miracle
There’s a lot of lists out there about what to do and what not to do when someone dies – how to talk to someone who has lost a loved one, how to help, what is most appreciated. I have to admit that my attention wanders when I get to about number three. At almost five months since Tom died, […]
Cue the crazy…
Last weekend the kids had Friday and Monday off from school. I liked not getting up at five thirty, but dealing with a child who doesn’t know what to do with himself is difficult. Andrew always does better with structure and though he wants free time, he usually spends it asking others to entertain him or getting into trouble. So […]
Talk ‘N Turkey
I couldn’t resist the title! So, two completely unrelated things going on in my life. Yesterday I was asked to speak in sacrament meeting (my congregation’s worship service). In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we have a lay ministry so sooner or later everyone gets the chance to be the “preacher” (although you generally share the pulpit […]
Will Shovel Snow for a Home Cooked Meal
Read that title tongue-in-cheek (but not really!) I’ve shoveled snow 4 or 5 times this weeks and you would think I’d be sick of it, but honestly, I would rather spend an hour or two moving snow than figure out the evening meal and cook it. If we were a barter society I would totally have arrangements to have other […]
A Year of Magical Thinking
One of the books recommended to me after Tom died was The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. There were many things that resonated with me as she shared her experiences during the year after her husband died. One thing she talked about (and gives the book its name) is the idea that if she just did things a certain […]