I’m trying to …

I’m trying to get Tom to do a guest blog post.  He made an amazing meal on Sunday and he even had Spencer take pictures.  He’s being reluctant – but I wish he would!!  I envy those bloggers who have those beautiful food posts and here I have my very own chef who won’t spruce up my blog!!

I’m trying to get Spencer to help me re-design my blog theme.  I don’t like my choices for pre-made themes for spring.  He’d rather re-design his phone screens – AGAIN. He’s got pretty good design sense and I want him to put it to use for ME.

I’m trying to get Andrew stable again.  We missed the signs that his medications aren’t working very well anymore.  Now he is doing almost nothing in school, has started up with the constant arguing, and we’re back to the howling every time he’s asked to do something he doesn’t want/can’t do.  (Howling is not the best word, but it is really loud crying – like he really should be yelling/screaming but instead he cries – without tears).  Now I’m fretting about what the heck we are going to do with him next year.  He is so not ready for middle school (academically and otherwise).  AND I’m fretting about what to do about a doctor.  We’ve decided to switch him back to his old psychiatrist – but he’s in Evergreen, so I’m REALLY looking forward to those drives.  It stinks, dealing with mental illness.  I have a lot of compassion for him, but at the same time, he can be a real challenge to live with.

I’m trying to get Haley to turn all her homework assignments in.  Her teacher says she’s really smart, based on her scores, but is inconsistent about getting things turned in.  Any ideas??  I’m tired of groundings.

I’m trying to get myself out of the deep blue funk I’ve been in lately.  I took myself to the therapist’s office and listened to her tell me what I already know VERY WELL.  I’m depressed – not just, “oh, this is a bad day” depressed, but “I’m crying for no reason and I can’t seem to make myself leave my house unless I HAVE to and if I go grocery shopping I have to have a two hour nap when I get home” depressed.  I’m mad that I’m back here (although, to be fair, I’m not crazy yet, like I was the last time I was depressed).  Now I have to go to my doctor (I go to enough doctors with Andrew – I really don’t want to see any more!) and I have to get meds for myself (oh JOY – more meds to keep track of).  But I suppose, when I’m feeling better, I’ll be glad I did it.

Mostly I’m trying to find joy in my life.  It’s been scarce around here.  I think it’s attitude … anybody know where I can get some of the good attitude??

07. March 2012 by Johanna
Categories: Blog | Tags: , | 5 comments

Comments (5)

  1. Why does this sound exactly like my life??

    Hang in there, I guess, huh?

  2. Johanna, I’ve never been clinically depressed or suffered with mental illness. However, I have family members and other friends who have dealt with it previously. I’m SO sorry for your predicament!

    I seriously wish I was living in your town, for I would yank you out of your funk and force you to go on the Good Attitude walk with me! Ha ha 😉 No, I really wouldn’t make you do what you didn’t feel like doing. 🙂 But I truly wish I could help you in some small way! Maybe tomorrow will be better?! 🙂 I’ll be praying for you and yours!

    P.S. I think your blog date is off? It shows you posted this on 07-03-2012. Maybe you’re subconsciously wishing it was summer?! 🙂

  3. P.P.S. Okay, I have NO idea what those smiley faces are doing! They are totally out of line and misbehaving!

  4. I haven’t read much of your blog yet, so I don’t know much about Haley, but my daughter has issues with executive functioning. She has major trouble with not getting homework turned in. She does it, but leaves it in her backpack or forgets it at home. She has issues with organization and time management too. She’s definitely not doing it deliberately and as far as I can tell she can’t control it. It’s part of how she’s wired. We received confirmation of this from neuropsych testing.

    Mary

    • Your daughter’s issues remind of my son Andrew. He too has issues with executive functioning. My biggest challenge has been figuring out realistic expectations for him. Still working on it … Haley is a pretty typical kid – she gets lazy or sometimes I think she just wants to try out her brother’s behaviors. She doesn’t appear to have any impairments (cross fingers!). Thanks for looking at my blog – I don’t have interesting things to say like you do!! I’m mostly just trying to keep my extended family a little bit in the loop.

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