Mommy Rewards

Last spring (I think) I was watching my sister and her almost three-year old daughter. Kate would come and say, “I love you mama” often while she played. Just popped in to connect and then back to the fun. I was feeling particularly discouraged about my parenting experience. Spencer, while a mostly pleasant teen, is understandably moving towards independence. He doesn’t come give me random hugs anymore. Andrew and Haley never really have. And on top of that, Andrew is very challenging – he likes to argue and refuse to do things – stuff designed to make my parenting job not much fun. I was feeling cheated, to be quite honest. I wanted some kind of “mommy reward” – not just the cold comfort of knowing I was making a difference.
Fast forward to now. After years of being part of our family, I’m starting to see glimmers of that true attachment in Haley – spontaneous “check-ins” that aren’t tentative, or forced, or guarded. I’m getting those random, “I love you mom” messages – just reconnecting. I’d forgotten how much a genuine affection can make up for all the drudgery of day-to-day mothering tasks. It’s nice.