I was cleaning out the drawers in my nightstand the other day (does anyone else have to do this?? I always seem to be stashing things in them that really don’t go there) and came across my journal. The last entry in the book was from April of 2010. Shameful!!
I got to thinking about why I hadn’t written in so long (and I think the entry before that was in 2009). Partly I think it is because our family was in crisis mode (and I might blog about that in the future). I just couldn’t do more than live through the days – I couldn’t really sit down and process them through the medium of writing. Also, I think I’ve forgotten how much I value being able to go back and see what I was thinking and how things have changed.
Since I did the cleaning spree I’ve been trying to write – mostly things I remember from the period when I wasn’t writing. There are some things that I don’t want to forget. As I have thought back over the last couple of years, I have been reminded of how much the Lord has watched over our family, but also over me personally. I can see how He has given me opportunities to feel close to Him, has encouraged me with His tender mercies, and has put people into my life that have been uniquely equipped to understand my challenges and offer support. I know that “all things work for my good and are for my understanding”.
I don’t know that I’ll ever be disciplined to write EVERY day (I have been a regular student of the scriptures for four or five years now and I have yet to achieve that regularity in studying either!) but I hope I can be more grateful in my life and come to my journal regularly to record the things that will matter – to me and to my kids.