Marriage
So I keep hearing what strike me as fairly ridiculous reasons for ending relationships. I realize these are “sound bites” but that anyone buys these reasons??
Re: the Jim Carrey/Jenny McCarthy breakup, “The first thing is, when it’s not fun anymore, you need to start investigating and doing an inquiry into the relationship.”
Re: the Susan Sarandon/Tim Robbins breakup, “Maybe you have a relationship to have children and you realize that it’s fulfilled after that point.”
Re: the Halle Berry/Gabriel Aubry breakup, “You realize you are not meant to go the distance with everybody.”
Here’s what God has to say about marriage:
“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children … Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.”
Didn’t notice anything in there about fun (not that fun isn’t part of a good relationship, but it isn’t what it’s all about). Pretty sure marriage is for more than just creating children or just spending a few years together.
What is most sad about this is that this is what society is teaching about relationships and marriage – and people are buying it and children live through the aftermath and adults (many of whom know better from personal experience) shrug their pain off, saying that “kids are resilient”.
Sadly, there are times when divorce is the only answer – but I don’t think these popular takes on the end of a relationship fit into the category of “must end in divorce”.
Just my thoughts …
Johanna, (sorry, this is long!)
What great thoughts. I totally agree with you!
The sad thing is that people in our society actually listen to the “famous people”, and refer to what they said/did when their own marriages aren’t going well. I hate to say it, but the reason most people in Hollywood are good at acting is because they aren’t good at REAL life! They don’t know how to handle their own lives, thus it’s easier to act as someone else, with a director and lines to tell them what to do! I know that sounds mean, but it’s how I feel.
I’m constantly amazed at how many couples in Hollywood divorce, and how quickly they rebound. Greg’s and my marriage has outlasted more Hollywood couples than I can count! (As has yours and Toms.) The sad part is their dear, sweet, innocent children get totally messed up in the aftermath. It really is tragic that the kids get split between their parents that way.
I’m so grateful for the knowledge we’ve been given through the scriptures, and the prophets. What we have is for real, and it’s eternal. We can’t put a price on that!
Thanks for your comments, Adrie. I have to say – marriage, at least for me, really only got good after about ten years. Before that it was hard and mostly not fun. But I’m sooo glad that we kept at it, because now we’re really starting to see the benefits and blessings of the relationship begin to bloom. I’m grateful I have parents who taught me that, and that we have prophets who teach us what marriage is for.
I agree, the disposable attitude towards marriage is so sad, and the fact that children are being raised with the lesson that a three year marriage is the norm is shameful. There are a few situations where a marriage simply cannot work. (Abusive relationships, substance abuse, etc.) But in my opinion, for the most part, plain old laziness is behind most divorces nowadays. Many of the people I graduated with seemed to have the opinion that they shouldn’t have to work for anything, and it’s only natural that that attitude would affect their relationships as well. What a sad legacy to leave our children with!