It’s been four and a half years since Tom passed away. Just writing that seems unreal. It is hard for me to believe that he has been gone so long. Much of the grief of his passing has tempered with time. I still think of him almost daily, although a lot of the pain of that remembering has gone away. […]
How did February get by me?? Well, actually I know the answer to that. I’ve been up to my neck in DIY projects – painting, installing new baseboards, painting, changing out electrical plugs & switches (and pinning down the puzzle that is my breaker box), painting, decluttering, oh and did I mention painting?!? Good thing I’m a believer in pan […]
Here’s something that I miss since Tom has been gone … There’s no one that knows me and who sees me in that uniquely intimate way that spouses have. When I get dressed up, there’s no one to say, “wow, you look great today!” or if I’ve done something around the house, he’s not there to say, “great job on […]
Has it been too long since Tom died for me to write a post about how I’m missing him? After all it’s been over a year and I should be moving on, right? It’s not that I cry myself to sleep (because I don’t) or that I don’t find my life (overall) pretty happy (because I do). It’s just there […]
Last weekend I drove out to Utah for the wedding of my niece. It doesn’t really matter that I’ve made this trip so many times in the past, or that even in the past year I’ve made it a half a dozen times. I get in the car and there is all that uninterrupted time to think… and what I […]
Back when Tom had his surgery I wrote a little about his diabetes and how it hadn’t seemed like a big deal for most of our marriage. Tonight I started thinking about that. A few years ago Tom had a severe insulin reaction where his blood sugar levels were so low that he finally lost consciousness, despite all the sugar […]
There’s a lot of lists out there about what to do and what not to do when someone dies – how to talk to someone who has lost a loved one, how to help, what is most appreciated. I have to admit that my attention wanders when I get to about number three. At almost five months since Tom died, […]
Read that title tongue-in-cheek (but not really!) I’ve shoveled snow 4 or 5 times this weeks and you would think I’d be sick of it, but honestly, I would rather spend an hour or two moving snow than figure out the evening meal and cook it. If we were a barter society I would totally have arrangements to have other […]
In a nod to the incomparable C.S. Lewis, whose book A Grief Observed I recently read, I thought I’d write about some of the things I have experienced the past twenty-five days. How I have grieved has been surprising to me, though I’m sure many will tell me that my experiences are nothing new (and that is actually a comforting thing). When […]
It’s the day after Christmas and I’m still in bed in my pjs at almost 10am. It’s so nice to just be lazy after the last minute rush to get to Christmas. Though this has been my best December personally in about five or six years. Somehow I managed to side step the usual unbearable pressure to “get everything done”. […]