I wrote this post in my head two nights ago when I couldn’t sleep. I have a ton of empathy for sufferers of insomnia. That feeling of laying in bed, trying to doze off, and there’s just no sleep coming … it is bearable for one night but as a chronic thing I’m not sure I wouldn’t slowly go crazy. […]
I’ve become a stereotype – the single mother of a troubled kid. It’s an uncomfortable role. Every time I’m in a situation where strangers are interacting with me in this capacity I want to say, “wait! You don’t understand… This kid was troubled back when I was married, not widowed, and there were two functioning parents and positive role models.” […]
This past week I took my son to a residential treatment center and left him for what will probably be a least a year away from home. It was a difficult decision to make on so many levels. For eleven years we have worked diligently to get him the professional help that he has needed and to encourage him in […]
Has it been too long since Tom died for me to write a post about how I’m missing him? After all it’s been over a year and I should be moving on, right? It’s not that I cry myself to sleep (because I don’t) or that I don’t find my life (overall) pretty happy (because I do). It’s just there […]
Last weekend I drove out to Utah for the wedding of my niece. It doesn’t really matter that I’ve made this trip so many times in the past, or that even in the past year I’ve made it a half a dozen times. I get in the car and there is all that uninterrupted time to think… and what I […]
To wear a ring or not … I never supposed it would be such a topic of discussion and thought. Before Tom died I was firmly on the side of remarriage. I think life can be long and lonely and if you have the chance to remarry, that’s a good thing. But I didn’t count on the feelings that come […]
I was recently invited to be a seminary teacher this coming school year (seminary is a 5 day a week, early morning class for the youth of my church where they study a book of scripture over the course of the year.) I like to imagine that conversation… “Who do we know who can do this job? Let’s see – […]
Eleven years ago Tom and I were anxiously waiting to hear about a brother and sister that needed a new home. We were hoping ours would be the best fit for them. In July we got the happy news that our family of three was about to become a family of five. We knew there would be challenges, but we were […]
We always talk about not comparing ourselves to others, but the truth is, it is difficult not to. And there are all these handy articles and checklists on how to do just about anything the “right way” (never mind that there are a hundred different “right ways”). By most standards I’m a pretty ineffective mother. I’ve got a kid who […]
Back when Tom had his surgery I wrote a little about his diabetes and how it hadn’t seemed like a big deal for most of our marriage. Tonight I started thinking about that. A few years ago Tom had a severe insulin reaction where his blood sugar levels were so low that he finally lost consciousness, despite all the sugar […]