It was a long night and an exhausted day, but we were all so happy to have him here!

He was cute, creative, and funny as a little boy.

And he grew up to just as cute, creative, and funny.  It’s hard to believe it’s been sixteen years!

Happy Birthday, Spencer!

This is an excerpt from The Invisible Woman by Nicole Johnson…
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, “Can’t you see I’m on the phone?” Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, “What time is it?” I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude – but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She’s going, she’s going, she’s gone! One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, “I brought you this.” It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription:

“To Carol , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.” In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

1-No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names.
2-These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
3-They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
4-The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the Cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, “Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.” And the workman replied, “Because God sees.” I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, “I see you, Nicole. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.”

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder.

When I really think about it, I don’t want my daughter to tell the friend she’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, “My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.” That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want her to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to her friend, to add, “You’re gonna love it there.” As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Here’s to the work my mom did, unseen and unappreciated, but that is hopefully beginning to bear fruit in the lives of her children.  I love you, Mom!

Things I love about the series:

• The writing changes from book to book, reflecting the growing maturity of the characters.  The story lines get more complex, the language is more mature, the conflicts are more realistic.
• The characters are three-dimensional.  There is no character wholly good, and even the most evil of characters do illicit a bit of pity.
• There’s a good bit of humor in the series – even in the most dire of circumstances, there are laughs.
• The world of Harry Potter is so imaginative.  The pictures I get in my head as I’m reading are just fun.
• While there are great tragedies in this series and so many losses for Harry, in particular, there are also happy endings.  And I think this is fitting – there are rewards for making the right choices, even as there are sacrifices.
• The exploration of choice is particularly wide and varied.  From the very beginning when Harry hopes to be Gryffindor and wonders if he should really be Slytherin, Ms. Rowling points out again and again that it isn’t fate that makes us what we are, it’s our choices.  Over and over again, Harry is encouraged to choose – even Dumbledore who can see further along than any of them, refuses to force but tries to give Harry the tools he needs to choose, trusting in Harry’s own character to bring him to the right choices.
• The way friendship is valued and tested and how it makes all the difference.  From the battle with the troll which cements the relationship of Harry, Ron, and Hermoine to the formation of the D.A. and the friendships that spring up there, those relationships are essential to the storyline but also to all the good feelings in the series.  While Harry feels all alone in his unique role, his friends prove, again and again, that he’s not alone and that their support makes his task possible.
• The adults in the story are fallible – and Harry survives his knowledge of that!  Harry loves Sirius and Lupin as the last connection that he has with his parents, but both men have been marked by tragedy and though they do their best for Harry, Ms. Rowling isn’t afraid to show their flaws.  Sirius has never really had a normal adult life and I felt such sympathy for his experiences and losses.

I could go on and on (and really, I already have!) but there’s so much to say and so many things that I have been thinking about.  As a series for youth, Harry Potter is ambitious, but it succeeds on so many levels.  Here’s to another re-read in a few years or so …  Now for the movies!!

Things I’ve noticed (now that I’m up to the end of King David’s reign).

There are a LOT of chapters that just list the names of people – who serves in the temple, which descendants are responsible for which jobs, who came out to fight this battle, who was around when the Israelites entered the promised land – they just go on and on.  I’m not sure how others read these chapters, but I find myself skimming for significant sentences (“the purifying of all holy things, and the work of the service of the house of God” – 1 Chronicles 23:28) that are suggestive to me.

Another thing – I’m reminded of just how brief the stories are.  Reading about the patriarchs requires major effort to “liken the scriptures unto” me.  It takes some imagination to put into context the bare bones of the various actions that are described.  There are a LOT of chapters describing feasts, sacrifices, and the basic code of conduct.  Interesting culturally but hard to imagine living.  I wonder if someone from that time reading about our time would feel the same??

Favorites:  I love the book of Ruth – it’s a wonderful story of love.  Naomi and Ruth had the kind of relationship that all mothers and daughters-in-law should try to have.  Very tender.  Also, I really like reading Genesis – there’s so much interesting stuff going on (and it covers a LOT of time).  Reading Job reminded me of being in college – we studied Job as a literary work and I kept remembering insights my professor pointed out.  Elijah and Elisha were exciting prophets.  They got to do all kinds of cool things.  I have a lot of empathy for Moses – his task was impossibly difficult and it must have been disheartening to see his people settle for so much less than they could have had.

Finally – my most rewarding part of reading the Old Testament – looking for references to Christ.  The more I look, the more I find.  Even something as simple as the phrase, “draw lots” reminds me of when the soldiers drew lots to divide Christ’s clothing.  There are so many ways in which the Old Testament reminds and suggests and foreshadows the great center of history when the Savior came to earth and lived and died for all mankind.  It reminds me how much this is a intricately and carefully planned world and experience.  It reminds me how much God loves me and each person to live on the earth.

So, there you have it.  My midway to the goal update.

Another random thing – why is it that my hair only looks REALLY good (and this doesn’t happen often in general, but if it does …) right about the time that I’m going to bed??  I’ve been living with kind of annoying hair because I’ve been letting it grow.  The other night I had that rare experience of actually liking how it was looking – just as I was getting ready to SLEEP on it.  So unfair.  There’s no product out there that makes your hair look like it has been worn for a day, right after you style it.

Lastly – Tom bought himself a gas grill on Saturday (it was a Sam’s Club shopping trip that pushed him over the edge!)  I never thought we would switch from charcoal to gas.  But age must be catching up with us.  The appeal of turning on the grill instead of lighting a fire and then waiting for the coals to get hot – it finally won out.  I think Tom’s increasing penchant for exactness in his cooking is also catching up with him.  Now he can control the heat more precisely too.  We had ribs on Saturday (very yummy they were too) and hamburgers tonight.  I think he’s taking a break on Monday …